I see a couple of different pieces of news with more clear cut points. One issue that I feel is imperative is the issue of gays in the military. For me to give discussion, it would require a lot of conditions in favor of my behalf to feel at liberty to say anything. Therefore, until there is a provision of conditions, I keep my mouth shut.
I'll start with the good before the bad. They are related in their own way, yet opposing perceptions. My perception:
"Toys 'R' Us Reveals Annual Holiday Toy List
Chris Hondros, Getty Images
True, it's only September. But better to
save this list now than to be scouring
for them last-minute in December.
15 that your kids will be begging for
Up-to-the-Minute Is McDonald's Ad 'Disingenuous'?Shot May Lower Heart Attack Risk4 New Indicators of Ovarian Cancer"
Copying and pasting on this blogging account is not as easy as others, but the perception I am spelling out is persistent news about being a toy and some acknowledgement with Ovarian cancer.
They even give Chris (code name for abuser) the credit for toy photography. This is accurate that some of my anger is mad at incompetence and being ignored that I really am serious.
Because some people can't take it, they refuse to see it that way. They would rather call me the liar, and make me go through their interrogation and beg. Because I have already lived and learned about fallacies, lies, truths, interrogations, I gained a better sense of self respect.
This complicates things and there are high odds of abuse, because when I choose not to suffer the interrogation or beg for my life, it is automatically assumed I am just joking and/or lying. Some people more than others are more self-entitled by being authoritarians and demanded being answered to than others. Another cruel thing is that during the interrogation there is not even an opportunity to say anything This is another occassion of self pity and hating the fact that I am poor and vulnerable.
In the end, despite having the ugliest gossip against me, I am happy that I chose to be stubborn and keep my pride. I am happy that I did not let myself become the victim even though I was victimized no matter what I did.
Now, the next one is the opposing perception.
http://daol.aol.com/articles/prevent-identity-theft?icid=main%7Cmain%7Cdl6%7Csec1_lnk3%7C171843
"Impostors and the Art of Identity Theft"
Before I give my case, I give appreciation for being a little more specific with how I am being viewed as being the imposter:
Dalai Lama or Shaquille O’Neal
A lot of ideas sprout out of this and I find it hard to give communication without being a little on the heartless side.
To remind people how hard it is to convince me I am the bad guy, its just as easy for me to say that this is a strategized group of men ganging up on me. Of course I asked for it, right? It is honestly a little more frustration and cry that after I am already screaming and have been screaming because of cruelty and sadism, that people hate to admit they are wrong and continue to throw everything they can at me to justify how right they are.
I wrote a blog on myspace awhile ago concerning this. It definitely is more harsh, and I wish I could remember the title. It is concerning keeping maintained composure vs. "express yourself, damn the consequences."
Even though I hate that I am being cornered and ganged up on like this, I am glad that it is at least a little more intellectual.
To give myself more credit and a reminder. There are plenty of times I have mentioned in my writing some of the choices I have made: I choose to be "Quiet" "vague" "straightfaced". It is funny that people forget that they yell at me for being naive until the day comes where this situation is spelled out.
To answer the above question: Yes, I am trying to be on my guard. Because of how life goes sometimes, the interrogators do win when they beat the truth out of me because I am in too much pain, or I see that something else is going on.
Sometimes, I really do freely open up to people either at my leisure or own bravery.
In specific responsiveness: I am posing as trying to be a peacemaker, or I am posing in that (this is where it gets hard) in that I have AIDS. To remind people of how I translate: think about the literal disease and what it does. People could call this capitalism and see it as the glass half full, but I see it as feeling robbed of my life. Moreso, suffering from cruel and unusual punishment because someone else does something that I am capable of doing, makes it obvious with who people are talking to, yet I still carry the full load while they get paid and the credit for it. This is the main reason of my disregard, lack of respect, carefreeness. Whoever the matrix man is, is being an overdemanding and unreasonable pig.
Actually, "Shaquille O Neal" is not a pose at all. It is just a difference in language where people could not see how I translate. Is this even the right basketball player who has AIDS? Sometimes people do translate and I get lost in their language even if they could be right sometimes.
If it is the Neal I went to high school with, I could see how we share commonalities. But, this does not mean that I am trying to rob him of his identity. I claim myself, as being myself. Because we share some commonalities does not mean we are completely the same person with completely the same background.
So, in conclusion, during the times when the interrogator is too strong, and I can't keep a straight face, silent, or vague..... Where I am forced into a situation that I have to give some kind of reaction, sometimes the sky is the limit with how I react to the interrogator. In my own way "my fakeness," is really a natural reaction of being hysterical when I feel my life is in danger or feeling social rape.
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